Mary Pat's Experience Yesterday..after I left with the kids

I want to preface this post by saying that the strides Alison is making are great and yet so small at the same time.  She is so bad off.  She is depressed, angry, uncommunicative and immobile most of the time, sometimes catatonic almost.  What little she does gives us though, indicates to me and others who witness it, that the Alison we know and love is indeed in there and that she is aware of her situation.  Although she does holler out, Mary Pat says she ramped it up once I left with the kids.  She seems to know who we are and interacts with each individual the same way she used to.  I can almost see gratitude and tenderness in her eyes when she sees me.  She rants a lot to/lovingly verbally abuses Mary Pat.  She tones it down around the kids.  She barely interacts with the staff.  (But she has had some communication with her nurse Eric.)  Her cognizance/ability to have different kinds of relationships with people (just as before) seems significant and promising to me.  And while all that is great, I wonder how much this awareness is contributing to her (lack of) willingness/want/ability to recover.  Lauri has said that Alison relished being cared for after her aneurysm.  She loved being bathed and being in diapers.  Lauri keeps stressing that she REALLY REALLY LOVED it...in a seemingly Freudian way.  Is this/will this have any bearing on her motivation?  Maybe it is just too soon to speculate/expect much right now but her emotional pain is palpable.  And it is heartbreaking to see both Stella and Alison wanting nothing to do with each other.  What is that about????


On to Mary Pat's account...WARNING!  RATED A for Alison:)

Mary Pat stayed a little longer after we left yesterday.  Before getting in the car, the kids, Stella and I walked around to Alison's window and waved to them from outside.  Mary Pat said Alison liked that.
And then...

A:  "GOD DAMN SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"
MP: "You're really frustrated?"
A:  (moving her head side to side and saying repeatedly) "Frustrated, frustrated..."
Alsion contintued hollering.
MP: "Knock it off!"
A:  "You knock it off! Why is this this way?"

Later..
MP:  "Are you in pain?"
A: "Yes"
MP: "Your neck?"
A: "Not exactly."
MP: "Is it your head?"
A: "Yes."
Mary Pat got her some Tylenol.